Christmas Card............

Why did he send me a christmas card and a note.......when I broke it off from the Narcisisst five months ago?  Because he is possibly getting bored with the new victim and has a desire to fill his needs ....VERY SAD....D!!!!!  You see...I now understand who you are and  how you operate...While you were married you were never home....Where wee you and what would be more important than taking care of your wife who was struggling with cancer??  Who is more important than your wife???

So you meet other woman...then you get angry...then you explode and objectify them and need other fulfillment.  Where is God in all of this?  Why do you not turn to Him and His word to honor Him first and all priorities will fall into place.  Love the Lord your 'god with all your heart....Honor your wife.....this means faithfulness to Him and her......

You had an episode with the new victim and now your reaching out for MOI...Not genuine...just selfish and dishonest....and dishonoring to God and the new woman your with!!!!!!

LEAVE ME ALONE

Freedom...Peace...My Person is coming back.....

It has been five months since I said NO MORE....No more control....belittling.....disregard.....manipulation.....
The interesting thing is that he has sent me several cards and I burn them...b/c of what I have learned since breaking it off from him.

First,  I have a beautiful new found sense of freedom in just being me....I no longer question what I am wearing....or need to be home by 10:30.....no more interrogations of where I was and were there any men at the seminar....or messages of how he was wondering if I was socializing with people HE didn't know......all sounds so very bizarre to me now....I was being brain washed and did not even recognize it!

Also...I have learned alot about these kind of men....their deep insecurities cause them to constantly be on the look out for other woman to fulfill their void of self esteem and to satisfy their narcissism.  This is what I witnessed with ...we'll call him Dan!  I have taken time to observe men and their patterns with this issue.  Men will glance and that is to be expected but cheaters stare. 

I realize that one should trust their intuition on this topic...ladies....Trust your instinct!  When you see patterns of anger, quick attachment, marriage discussion within 3/4 months(I am serious!!!)


RUN.................................RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS..................................

I can wear anything I want to wear..........................I love wearing heels....funky stockings with paisley designs..............sweet classy skirts with pizazz and flare...............just being me!!!!  No more put downs!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you God!!!!!

Ugh.....no more poor hygene(he used to come to me after work...dirty...white socks and white sneakers  didn't brush his teeth...ewww..don't come near me.....he had tons of cancore sores......no style...and he would be critical of my wonderful style!!!  

Oh What a Relief It Is.......!!!!!!!!!!!!

It has been three months since I gave the ring back to the abuser....stan the hottub man!!  oh my goodness!!  I had no idea how surpressed I was by his control...manipulation...constant questioning ....belittling...  Really!!

I am so sorry for his wife who passed from ovarian cancer and what she went through!!!  the sweet poor thing!!:-(

Thank you to Sue's family member.... who spoke the truth and warned me about the abusers communication issue!!!!

Thank You

Accountability.................Narcissist are Incapable of Love....

I spent the day at church and then to a social celebrating a cancer free life of my dear friend Dyan.....It was very interesting as I mingled among the guests. One woman...forty six....was completely devastated with her life.  Her husband of 26 years seems to be passive-aggressive and disregarding of her needs.  She tries and talks to him and engage him ...but it seems to be a dead end.  Hmmm......It was a reminder to me ...This is how I was feeling the past year and half......with the narcissist I was engaged to ..We will call him D.S.!  He started out being so charming..quickly in love with me..."the woman of his dreams" ...he would tell me!  However, as I became HIS.....All the charm formulated into control, jealousy, insecurity, rage, out of control anger, belittling, disregard....It was always about him and his daughters...Never my sons.....
Thank you God...as I listened to this woman's pain today...I am blessed with health, freedom, regard for my own well being.....no more abuse!!!!
Warning...anyone who can quickly attach to you ....probably just detached from someone else ..dropped them like a hot potato....for YOU!!!  Remember...True...healthy love....takes time to have knowledge of one another!  If it is so hurried...It is to fill their void...Narcissist are NOT capable of love!

Borderline Personality Disorder | Lifescript.com

Borderline Personality Disorder | Lifescript.com

What is Borderline?

Why We Love Narcissists (At First)

Why We Love Narcissists (At First)

Signs of Abusive Relationships.......

Domestic Violence with in families can be very difficult to discern.....Here are some signs:
Children...whether adults of younger can appear austere and not very attached to the abuser(ie father)
Anger ...and little display of affections towards the parent (father) is usually limited and strained

Evidence of dating an abuser may include the diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder with Narcissism:
Symptoms are as follows:

1. Quick attachment
2. Intense desire to quickly marry in order to isolate the victim in "his" reign
3. Showers of accolades of positive compliments initially in order to pull you into their manipulation
4. Assurance of security financially ...emotionally...and "you are the woman of their dreams"
5. Generosity of spending with thoughtful ..gifts and promises to capture your heart
6. If you are starting to think he is too good to be true...Trust your intuition!!!
7. Engagements...or attempts to seal the deal with you is imperative!   Engagement is "his" plan and needed for his deep seated insecurities of potentially loss of you
8. Episodes of anger ..."flashing" may start to seep out in which he rages on you and spews bile of criticism
9. Irritability and disdain will begin to evolve intermittent between kindness and apology
10................Trust your gut!!! It has been telling you that something is awry......Possessiveness and jealousy has been a manipulation in which you may have not realized....calling you at the same time every night....asking you where you were and who you saw and where their men there????
11. Anger....and more frequent outbursts...become the norm...This is a huge RED flag!!!!
12. You are beginning to feel isolated as he spends 5 out of 7 nights with  you and has made negative comments about your associates, friends, social events....
13. Your style of clothing that he LOVED for one year is "provoking men to stumble" now....He flips out if men look at you or....you smile or talk to strangers who are male(in the grocery line)
14. Financially these men are out of control spenders in which if they have a business....They are completely maxed out in debt!!!  They need your equity of your home or assets in order to survive.....

ALL of the above are some examples of Control...Manipulation...Possessiveness...that is unhealthy and could lead to much worse symptoms if you were married..........................

RUN>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I did................I broke off a almost three year relationship with a Borderline....I got a warning from a his family member...Thank YOU!!...You know who you are....I am eternally grateful for you telling me
the truth....You spared me a miserable life with this "christian" man..

A Woman's Place located in Doylestown, Pa is a very informative, helpful....

Thank You Lord for protecting me from what I couldn't see at first.....